It came to my attention recently that most people don’t know the origins of the Republic of Thoronia, and perhaps many people don’t even understand what exactly it is. So, in order to clear these things up, we’ll take a look at the history, from conception to execution.
- 30,000,000 Billion years ago: King Thor get’s bored, create’s Tote Bag and universe to put into it.
- 3 years ago: I created the First Pamphlet of the Republic of Thoronia, on a whim, for questionable reasons. It is still unclear as to why this event happened, but perhaps was related to an excessive amount of internet and television babble about Scientology. The idea remains fairly dorment until…
- 1 to 1 and 1/2 years ago: The RoTBand is “formed” as King Thor realized that he did actually miss making music (prior to that he spent an excessive amount of time writing and performing songs in My Calculus Beats Your Algebra with his fool-hearty teammate and design genius pal Bryan). Spending hours upon hours of time and money researching and finding the perfect instruments, King Thor eventually ended up with: Roland SH-201 Keyboard, Korg Electribe ER-1, Korg Kaoss Pad, Behringer 4 Channel Mixer.
- May 5th, 2007: First Republic of Thoronia Band show. Very strange and proves that the music isn’t really ready for a public outing yet…
- June 20th-21st, 2007: Second and Third Republic of Thoronia Band shows. Things go better the first show, not so good the second.
- June, 2007: After purchasing instruments and paying for various school related things over the last 7 years, credit card is paid off.
- July, 2007: http://www.mcbya.net officially undergoes the change to the Republic of Thoronia moniker, King Thor never bothers to get a new domain, as everyone already has this one email address. The blog is launched shortly thereafter and undergoes, along with the website, at least 15 design changes before settling into the setup that it has now. The original blog was haphazardly updated and operated poorly (RSS didn’t work, each posting existed on its own page, it would get crazy “widget errors”). Until the next event which sent King Thor in to a writing frenzy.
- August, 2007: House burglarized, thieves steal: Apple Powerbook laptop, Fuji Camera, iPod, Korg Electribe ER-1.
- August 25th: Just weeks after the burglary, Republic of Thoronia plays fourth show. The show is high energy and exciting, but sounds stupid.
- September, 2007: With some help from Dad and a newly paid off credit card, new Korg Electribe is purchased, Korg Electribe EMX-1. As well as new computer, iMac 20?. The day after computer is purchased, Apple releases new, shiny metal iMac’s. King Thor’s heart breaks slightly, credit card seems to weigh more, somehow.
- September 23rd, 2007: The History of Thoronia project starts. King Thor promises 365 blog posts relating to the Republic of Thoronia. Soon thereafter trims that number to 100, then subsequently to 50. Also promises book, which nobody believes, but people feign excitement.
- October 3rd, 2007: RoTB plays again, things go okay this time, but its evident that some big chnages are in order… band doesn’t play again until March.
- November-January, 2007/8: The blog continues to grow as to the followers and worshippers of the Good King Thor. Excessive amount of gift guides, year in review’s, and other lists appear on the site.
- February, 2008: King Thor is out of a job! Which means constant site updates. Site overhauled (again). Podcasts begin airing, but eventually stop due to the constant struggle of this server and Apple iTunes’ penchant to ping the damn thing repeatedly.
- February 29th, 2008: The First Book of Thoronia published on Leap Day. Millions upon millions of dollars are donated to the RoTBlog project.
- March, 2008: After many many job interviews, the Good King Thor is getting saltier and saltier everyday.
- March 28th, 2008: The Republic of Thoronia iPhone/iPod Touch game is announced! King Thor quickly realizes how hard it is to develop an adventure game, but him and Mojiferous J. Colossuscontinue on with heads high and hearts filled dollar signs and RoT logos.
- May 1st, 2008: The first mention of the RoTBand anywhere except here. It’s inconclusive exactly what the world things still, but at least nothing negative was said. Soon, the world will know how great it all is, that is, once I figure out how to make it all work how I want.
- May 2nd, 2008: This retrospective is created in order to help all of you. Oh, and shows were played in between March and now.
- UPDATE: May 7th, 2008 KING THOR BLOW’S IT BY DELETING THE ENTIRE DATABASE!
OBJECTIVES AND GOALS OF THE REPUBLIC OF THORONIA:
Okay, so now that you have a fairly truthful and accurate history, you may be wondering what the hell the point of it all is. To be completely honest, it’s to get you completely involved with every single aspect and section of what it means to be a King. From musical conception (demos, trash songs, crap, crap, crap) to what eventually will be a fully realized and amazing album, you, the reader, will be there. Or perhaps the eventual full-length novel, you, the reader will have seen many parts of it. It’s here to create a completely cohesive brand and ideal for how to operate a life. It exists to document and bridge the gaps in ideas. How they come from one place, how they end up in another. The band? The band WANTS to sound like an old radio show being filtered through the eyes of Bruce Haack, Yes and Aphex Twin. It WANTS to be an interesting and informative snippet of stories and tales. It isn’t there yet. It’s not even close. The book? Honestly? It’s more of a retrospective, memoir sort of thing that relies on haphazard fiction faux-pas’ to get it going and hide the fact that it is, after all is said and done, just a memoir. This is a testing ground for all the absurd and more often than not, stupid ideas that King Thor has. Also, it’s a place where lists can be printed (P.S. “Refined Unemployment Songs” list is printed at the Westword here. May be in print next week?)
But more than anything else, The Republic of Thoronia is a life-guide. It’s a place where people aren’t idiots, where they tip their servers, where they share idea’s openly, where they clap even when the band sucks, where they listen to my advice because really, I’m usually right, where people are civil to each other, where music is something that can be worshipped and criticized without people getting mad, where video games have plotlines and aren’t always in 3D, where Rolling Stone never existed, where drinking beers and hanging out doesn’t always have to lead to being drunk, where friends with families get good jobs, where experience isn’t an issue so much as enthusiasm, where it’s okay to brand your life and give yourself your own logo, where ideas can be shared from start to finish and it’s okay when they suck a little bit, where people honestly give a fuck about what you’re doing with your life instead of pretending to be interested or completely unresponsive to the fact that you might have just done the impossible by getting this story accepted here or that article printed there, where writers get paid to write, where musicians get paid to play, where jobs are handed out like wafers at a Catholic church, where the Deadliest Catch is on all the time.
This is the Republic of Thoronia, get used to it.
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