I have been gone a long time, searching and hunting for the mystic ruin of Cappa Dioso. I lost it while cooking up my recipe for Dragon-Sauce. But regardless, I’ve decided to check in to show you ways that they are lying, and that I am right.

In Thoronia, people who wear glasses will not be mocked by physics. If you do not wear glasses you may not understand — if you do, take them off and look in the mirror. Put your face really close to the mirror. Why are things in the background still blurry? You are one inch away from them, but the distance is still unseeable. Why is that? What magic powers do a mirror hold that makes your eyesight unable to control the distance? Magic or mockery? In Thoronia, when a near-blind man looks in a mirror they can see as far as the mirror can see.

As we promised early this week, here are non-blurry photos of the exhibits from the Republic of Thoronia Artifacts Exhibit. If you didn’t make it out here is your chance to truly experience the magic! Thanks to April, Elliot and the Skinny Squirrel for hosting the shin-dig as well as taking these photos! Thanks to the contributors, the donators and the attendees as well! We’ll be returning back to normal Thoronia now!

CLICK ON PHOTO FOR DESCRIPTIONS/ARTISTS

Well, I’m not sure how we pulled it off, but we did it. Sucess to the everlasting ultimate degree of everything we could have possibly expected. If you want numbers I don’t have them, but I can tell you that 44/50 of the books were taken home, and 20/25 of the t-shirts are adorning fans and plans and moms and dads and old and young today, 8/8 of the CDs are in players.

The only thing I’m sorry for is the lack of armor — something that the first visitor of the evening really sucked us in for. I apologize man with moustache, the next time we do this I will come to you for armor. I swear it. I promise it. And on that note, you’ll have noticed some extra special wordage there — “next time.” That’s right. You didn’t think this was a one off did you? No, this was the deal the score the whole shabang of the FIRST ANNUAL REPUBLIC OF THORONIA ARTIFACTS EXHIBIT. What does first annual mean? It means there will be a second annual. And for that we’ll be further prepared. Ready for anything. Artists and contributers, you have a year. There will be a second half to the gallery, as I was too nervous in the way of picture taking (fuzzy out of focus shots!), so hold on for round two later on this week! Gallery!

(NOTE: Again I apologize for the blurry pictures, and if you’d like to download your own HISTORY OF THORONIA Chart, please get it here.)

That’s right folks, tomorrow is the big day! Are you ready for this? The first annual Republic of Thoronia Artifacts Exhibit is here! Can’t decide you want to come to see an art show in the Good King Thor’s honor? Well, much like church, we will have tons of free schwag for those who come early! Glow in the dark t-shirts! CDs! Books! Guaranteed excitement! Beer! Wine! See!

Republic of Thoronia Schwag!

If that’s not enough than there will be art too! Brent Neustifter’s monster! Brandon Knapp’s shield! Mojiferous’ Smoking KT/Jesus! Bryan Danknich’s animals! Cameron Munier’s Constitution! MORE! MORE! MORE!

Wonder what other people are saying? How about the Westword!?!

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Of Gods and Men

By Mark Dragotta

Published on September 04, 2008

Get on your seeing pants and come on down.