December 16th, 2008 §
In the vein of Chuck Klosterman’s “game” of “what movie represents a band?” we here in Thoronia have decided to do the same thing, thinking about what games are movies, you know, like to compare Left 4 Dead to Dawn of the Dead… listen, it’ll make sense once we get started, and we’re way overdue for a list.
- Fallout 3 makes us think of A Boy and His Dog.
- Little Big Planet makes us think of Juno.
- NHL 09 makes us think of Slapshot.
- Far Cry 2 makes us think of Blood Diamond.
- Tex Murphy (any) makes us think of Blade Runner.
- Dead Space makes us think of Alien.
- Gears of War makes us think of 300… in the future (or Last Action Hero).
- Half-Life (1 and 2) makes us think of V for Vendetta.
- Bioshock makes us think of Alphaville.
- Grand Theft Auto IV makes us think of Eastern Promises.
- Mirror’s Edge makes us think of Rollerball (or Logan’s Run).
- Deus Ex makes us think of The Matrix.
- Syndicate makes us think of Battle Royale.
- Metal Gear Solid 4 makes us think of Rambo (IV).
- Super Mario Bros. makes us think of Running Man.
- Relentless makes us think of the Prisoner.
- Resident Evil makes us think of 28 Days Later.
- Grim Fandango makes us think of Casablanca.
- Tetris makes us think of Schizopolis.
- Oblivion makes us think of Lord of the Rings.
- Mass Effect makes us think of Gattaca.
- System Shock 2 makes us think of Apocalypse Now.
- Burnout series makes us think of Days of Thunder.
- X-Com makes us think of Sphere.
- Portal makes us think of Cube.
- Super Mario Bros. 2 makes us think of Being John Malkovich.
- No More Heroes makes us think of Kill Bill.
- Full Throttle makes us think of Easy Rider.
- Conker’s Bad Fur Day makes us think of South Park: The Movie.
- Ecco the Dolphin makes us think of The Day of the Dolphin.
Hmm… lot of Sci-Fi. Got more?
December 1st, 2008 §
So, this is our third annual holiday gift guide, three years running, that’s right! Anyway, what you’ll probably notice is that we’ve combined the best of the year list with the holiday list. Why? Because we’re pretentious like that and figure that if it’s not good enough for the residents of Thoronia it’s not good enough for anyone. Anyway, here are our medium-favorites and our recommendations for who you should buy them for!
MUSIC
- Nick Cave — Dig!!! Lazarus Dig!!!
- Perfect Gift For: Aging rockers who don’t get to hit up the record store’s as much as they used to.
- Hercules and Love Affair — Hercules and Love Affair
- Perfect Gift For: People who like to dance in their cars and in their showers, but not in public.
- Fleet Foxes — Fleet Foxes
- Perfect Gift For: That brother or sister who really likes mainstream rock and has been teetering on the “indie” fence for a while.
- Sigur Rós – Með suð í eyrum við spilum endalaust
- Perfect Gift For: The Aunt that really likes Pete Seeger, that weird whale mating music disc and Tangerine Dream.
- Lindstrøm — Where You Go I Go Too
- Perfect Gift For: The cousin that’s been a bass-head for so long is brain is numb.
Lost and Found from Long Ago (our favorite old records that were new to us this year)
- Lucia Pamela — Into Outer Space with Lucia Pamela
- Perfect Gift For: Your roommate who keeps playing Daniel Johnston records.
- Magma — 1001 Centigrades
- Perfect Gift For: The dad or uncle that was really into Yes but never bothered to check out what the French Experimental Prog-Rock scene was like (and who did, really?).
- Simon & Garfunkel – Complete Columbia Recordings
- Tommy James and the Shondells – Travelin’
- Perfect Gift For: Your friend or family member that won’t shut up about “how great this song is” every time “Crimson and Clover” comes on, but doesn’t actually own any of the bands albums.
- Byron Lee and Mighty Sparrow — Only a Fool
- Perfect Gift For: The weird aunt that collects frogs and didgeridoos.
GAMES
Perfect Gift For: Anyone with a PS3. Hell, buy them a PS3 so they can play this game.
Perfect Gift For: The weirdo in the family who is really into 1950s style nostalgia… and nuclear war.
Perfect Gift For: Your brother who could always find new and creative ways to kill ants (he was way passed the whole “magnifying glass trick” on the first day.
PLATFORM GAME OF THE YEAR/MOST CREATIVE GAME OF THE YEAR Little Big Planet (PS3)
Perfect Gift For: Anyone a bit “over” Mario, aspiring game designers and everyone with a heart.
Perfect Gift For: People who just love, love, love, love, love horror games… because nobody else is going to think this game was worth a damn.
Perfect Gift For: Anyone that plays a lot of games online and is looking for a new experience. Or kids that need to make some friends and learn social skills and team work.
Perfect Gift For: Any fan of sports games. Even if you don’t like hockey games.
BEST USE THE FPS FORMAT WHILE TRYING SOMETHING NEW GAME OF THE YEAR Mirror’s Edge (PS3/XBOX 360)
Perfect Gift For: The videogamer in the family that has every game, plays every game… chances are they passed on this excellent little innovator.
BEST REMINDER OF HOW FREAKING HARD GAMES USED TO BE Street Fighter II Turbo HD Remix (PS3/XBOX 360)
Perfect Gift For: Sodomists, adults that have fond memories of Ryu, quarters and painful hours of that one kid just going back and forth across the screen as M. Bison.
Perfect Gift For: That cousin that owns a DS specifically so he can continue to play new versions of Castlevania: Symphony of the Night on the bus.
BEST GAME TO DUST OFF AND PLAY AGAIN Tossup between: Syndicate and Full Throttle.
Perfect Gifts For: The older gamer who still has his Pentium II with Windows 2000 loaded up.
BOOKS
This year we’ve been living in unemployment, living through Grad School, and living through 40 hour job+Grad School, so the books list is a little shorter than usual…
- Roberto Bolano — 2666
- Perfect Gift For: Book lovers who like the feeling of being lost, confused and rewarded.
- Chuck Klosterman — Downtown Owl
- Perfect Gift For: The writer in the family who balances fiction writing with feature writing.
- David Sedaris — When You Are Engulfed In Flames
- Perfect Gift For: That lovable uncle that listens to This American Life every Sunday afternoon and then tells you about the episode on Monday.
- Oliver Sacks — Musicophilia
- Perfect Gift For: The estranged friend who happens to really enjoy music and… neuroscience. You know the friend, the one that can have all the fun stripped out of something and still enjoy the science of it all.
- Michael Chabon — Maps and Legends
- Perfect Gift For: The aspiring author of any age.
MOVIES
Yeah, we didn’t have a lot of time for movies this year, so the list is a little… bleh.
- Wall-E
- Perfect Gift For: The one person in the family who didn’t already buy this for themselves or for someone else.
- Funny Games
- Perfect Gift For: Family members that enjoy it when movies screw with them, use meta techniques and creep the living daylights out of them. See also, Schizopolis.
- John Adams
- Perfect Gift For: The history buff will love this movie, and they probably haven’t seen it because we all know that history buff’s tend not to want to spend the extra money a month on HBO.
- Encounters at the End of the World
- Iron Man
- Perfect Gift For: Um… um…. nevermind, 90% of America already owns this and its on 100% of the DVD holiday gift guides.
November 30th, 2008 §
So, it’s finals week here in Thoronia, so we’ve been busy dotting our I’s and crossing our T’s in hopes of getting good scores on Presidential Fitness Exams. Since most of our creativity has been spent on these projects, I figured I’d point you around internet-town instead, and maybe you’ll see something you like:
Steve Gaynor, in his blog Fullbright, applies some of Roland Barthes’ (read the essay I’m thinking of here) idea’s to video games in his essay “Being There”. Oddly, he doesn’t actually mention Barthes, but it does bring some interesting arguments about authorship to the table. Worth reading if you want to picture new world with new video game design. It also brings up an interesting point in reference to Barthes’ idea’s, namely that his thoughts can be applied to any medium. I’ve heard of Barthes being taught in design classes, English, math, philosophy, history and so forth. “The Death of The Author” is one of the most applicable and easy to manipulate pieces of modern criticism, and Gaynor proves it (even if he doesn’t know it).
While we’re on the topic of video games, Brainy Gamer takes on immersion in regards to Fallout 3. He talks about this a few times in several other parts of his blog, all of them worth reading. I’m still waiting for more about his students’ take on Fallout 3 though, as I’m really curious as to how they’ll take it after playing through 1 and 2 His students played through FO 1 and 2, and their reactions to 3 can be found here (and yeah, you read that all right, as far as I can tell he teaches a Game class at a college level, but I’m still not too sure of the title of the course… either way, awesome, and something that I look forward to doing myself someday).
Oh screw it, here’s another video game story from the Escapist. Les Chappell’s article, “The Vintage Game Preservation Society” talks a bit about abandonware and copyright issues. But, more importantly has links to website’s that show how to get Syndicate and System Shock 2 running on OSX (or Windows XP for that matter).
Miles of tunnels beneath London are currently for sale. In what sounds like the beginning of a James Bond movie, London has set the price for its historic tunnels at $7.4 billion. Now, I realize that whoever purchases this will probably use it for good, what with its historical importance and all, but at the same time can’t help but wondering what type of evil, world-taking over plan might be able to be hatched from these tunnels. That being said, the Republic of Thoronia is currently in negotiations to take hold of the tunnels. If all goes well we will be moving in on the 1st of January.
Wall-E was released this last week on DVD, ha-za!
Black Friday has come and gone with “only” a trampling and a shooting. Pundits are pointing to the economy for blame on this, saying that this might not have ever happened if we weren’t in such rough economic times. I would argue that this might not have ever happened if we weren’t so driven by money, consumerism and “deals.” It doesn’t matter that we have no money, it matters that this thing I’ve never heard of until just now is HALF OFF (MSRP that is, it’s actually only $15 cheaper than the normal Wal-Mart Price, just FYI). The worst part is that many of these “deals” that happened on Black Friday were available on the internet, and many of them weren’t actually deals at all. Truth be told, American’s really want to risk their lives and karmic well-being in order to fight over Xbox’s and HDTV’s, which is amazingly sad. It’s always a bit disheartening this time of year when you get to actually see what drives people. I realize it’s the same old thing, the same thing said a million times before, and the same thing I’ll say next year… but every year I’m just blown away by how ludicrous our holiday ideal’s have become. Besides, everyone knows the best HDTV deals come after Christmas and before the Super Bowl. Duh.
August 26th, 2008 §
Songs for the (avoidance) of the DNC
As the Democratic National Convention starts really sticking its claws into the city, mixtapes and protest songs are popping up everywhere. But what are those of us on the “meh” side of the political spectrum supposed to do? Especially all of us being forced into it by our work or home’s proximity to downtown. What are we going to listen while New York Times journalists blog away their days at Starbucks?
Abba – “Another Town, Another Train”
Taking a trip on the train will be a new occurrence to many, as parking will be impossible in downtown. “I guess (you’ll) be spending life in railway stations.” But at least you can look back on the DNC and remember that “Nothing lost and nothing gained.”
Cee-Lo/Goodie Mob – “Cell Therapy”
While you’re walking home or taking the bus, you might come across some protest pens filled with grizzled Braveheart-looking youngsters looking ready for action. But don’t worry, they’re in their cells, but Cee-Lo still asks the question, “Who’s that peeking in my window?” Don’t worry, it’s just a reporter from Slate.com.
Dismemberment Plan – “Come Home”
The opening line, “Called in sick to work today, couldn’t have gotten a damn thing done,” sounds like your life eh? Too bad you couldn’t call in sick since all the smart people took the week of the DNC off months ago. Sucker.
I’m from Barcelona – “Chicken Pox”
There are a lot of songs in this world that just need a few changes and all the sudden they are about something else. All you really need to do is change the title of this song to “DNC,” and the line, “As a kid I had the chicken pox… and I don’t ever want to go through that again,” to “As a kid I was at the DNC…” It’s a good thing you can’t have it once you had it, right?
Elton John – “Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word”
If you happen to be caught in between any of the “shit” then you might find yourself searching for an apology, either from the officer who nabbed you with a gelatinous spider web (they have those right?) or from the protestor who accidently covered your pearl white power suit in a urine bomb… just remember, it might never come, after all, “sorry seems to be the hardest word.”
George Harrison – “All Things Must Pass”
Are smoke bombs, long lines at Jamba Juice and traffic jams getting you down? Fret not, George Harrison has your mantra, “it’s not always going to be this way, all things must pass, all things must pass away.”
The Pinups – “Lookin’ For Boys”
You know what a lot of journalists and politicians are? Boys! So get on you bikini and “go lookin’ around, east side, west side, all over town.” Girls, now is your time – take those rich gonzo boys for all they got, fries and burgers galore!
Bruce Haack – “National Anthem to the Moon”
So the U.S. is where you live, but that doesn’t mean you have to sing that silly national anthem and be proud during the convention. Nope, you can sing along to Bruce Haack’s own anthem with lines like, “Love me now, before you have to go away… Nothing stays the same and things are changing every day, make it now while we have time to make it all the way.” Now if that isn’t a definition of “change” I don’t know what is.
Justice – “D.A.N.C.E.”
You ever notice that if you were to try to pronounce DNC it would come out “dance?” Yeah, that’s right, maybe it’s just the media coverage seeping into by water-blogged brain, but I’m pretty sure this song says, “Easy as ABC, do the DNC.” Just remember, “black or white it doesn’t matter… whatever happens, do the DNC.”
Tom Waits – “What’s He Building?”
Many of us haven’t had a chance to see what’s going on inside the Pepsi Center, which leaves us begging the question, “What the hell is he building in there? He has subscriptions to those magazines, he’s hiding things from the rest of us… what about all those packages he send?” So Obama, what are you building in there? Not a playhouse for the children that’s for sure, “change,” perhaps?
July 4th, 2008 §
Happy 4th of July American’s! We don’t celebrate it here in Thoronia, but to those of you in America — may your country be good and strong and keep out of trouble for another year!
- If you’ve ever cheated on you husband or wife, ran over you child’s turtle, or accidently murdered you best friend’s parents, you might still be holding in your little secret, waiting for the perfect time to reveal the truth. Well, I have a proposition for you, tell them your secret right after they sneeze. People are so conditioned to hearing “bless you” or “gesssssooooooonnnnheit” after a sneeze they won’t even notice that you said, “I’msorryIsleptwithyoursister.” They’ll just reply, “thank you.”
- People build robot’s for a variety of reasons. I’m not sure why you’d build one to take all the fun out of air hockey though.
- I love it when companies try to copy Apple. It makes them look so stupid and pathetic — and ends up showcasing that the reason Mac’s are great is because of the extra amount of time they spend to ensure that their UI’s aren’t gaudy. Shit looks more comfortable in Minority Report than it does on a computer. Not that Microsoft has a track record for great UI’s.
- Seeing Wall-E was a great treat, and marks the first theatrical attendence since we were robbed while watching Sunshine. The movie was phenomenal, mostly due to the fact that Disney just didn’t seem to get it. But we did, the audience, oh yeah, we were in on the irony. The facade. The great visuals, endearing story, and simplistic, yet substantial argument against waste and laziness. Yeah, I got it. I’m as smart as a little kid. Oh, and the fact that there was hardly any dialougue for the first hour or so was pretty cool.
- Which reminds me of Andrei Tarkovsky’s Solaris. My favorite movie. You should see it. Stat.
- We’re only eight days from the release of the new iPhone/firmware. I’m not entirely sure why people care more aout the hardware than the software — because it’s the software that has me excited. Don’t forget — the Repulic of Thoronia game is still in development. We are getting closer everyday and we’ll have concept shots up within the week — and hopefully screenshots within a month. Celebrate!
- If you haven’t heard of Wikileaks, or haven’t checked out the site, you really ought to. If nothing else it’s an interesting concept.
Via [Kotaku, Wired, Gizmodo, RoT, Consumerist]
