The Republic of Thoronia

1. “The Pre-Primary Campaign (The System Boots)” – 0:23

• • I. Front Runners – For upon these men and women the media shall rest its hopes. If chosen wrongly, we shall suffer. If chosen right, may the angels sing blessings upon the world.

2. “Primaries & Caucuses, Caucuses & Primaries” – 16:56

• • I. Iowa – The decider of fates, the revolution begins with you, dear Iowa. Dear Iowa, you have decided our fate, it appears that we’ll sit back and wait, we’ll wait for another date.
    II. Texas and Ohio – McCain is now in the light, so stand up and fight you know we are right.
    III. Stripping Florida and Michigan* – Keyboard solo
    IV. April through June (The Dance of the Giant Hogweed) – Change is for freedom. Freedom. Change. Freedom. Change. Change. Change.

3. “Conventional Partiers throw a Party Convention” – 7:43

• • I. Constitution and Libertarian (Slow and awful builds)
  • II. Green (Handclaps and timeouts)
    III. Reform (Drum solo)
  • IV. Democratic (Climax)
    V. Republican (and Surprise)

4. “The Running of Mates (VEEP-EM&WEAP)” – 3:25

• • I. Biden – Brother to our Zeus, for Biden we shall yield, yield down to our Poseidon of the sea.
    II. Palin – Our Palin, penicillin to your needs. She is Robin to our Batman, she is here to save the day.

5. “A Lively Debate?” – 9:34

• • I. O v M (Warm acoustic guitar)
    II. B v P (Mellotron solo)
    III. O v M (Interlude)
    IV. O v M (Start growing the Campaign Beards)

6. “Swinging States Like Pendulums” – 19:26

• • I. Oh, Colorado – Counting on a state with four right angles.
  • II. It’s True That Florida Matters – Black Matter/Real Fodder.
  • III. Michi-Can – And will decide.

*Theremin accompaniment thanks to Roberta McCain.

All Music Composed By: CAMPAIGN 2008

Played By: The ’08 Players.

Barack Obama: Organ, Mellotron, Piano, Flute, Vibes, Vocals

John McCain:  Bass, Guitar, Maverick, Vocals

Sarah Palin: Guitars, Vocals backing

Joe Biden: Drums, Lead vocal on “Michi-Can”

Guests:

Mike Huckabee: Bass on “Front Runners”

Rudy Giuliani: Conga Drums on “Stripping Florida and Michigan”

Mitt Romney: Percussion on “April through June”

Hillary Clinton: Flute and Backing Vocals on “April through June”

John Edwards: Trombone and Tenor Sax on “Vice-President’s Named”

Vocal Choir on “Swinging States Like Pendulums”: Chris Dodd, Dennis Kucinich, Bill Richardson, Duncan Hunter, Ron Paul, Tom Tancredo, Fred Thompson Tommy Thompson, Ralph Nader, Bob Barr, Charles Baldwin, Cynthia McKinney, Alan Keyes, Gloria La Riva, Brian Moore

Comment on the *ahem* original post here please.

Via [Westword]

Hey there,

Did you know that many of the Thoronian’s are based in Denver, Colorado? It’s true, and many of us are combining our forces to bring you comprehensive coverage of the Democratic National Convention.. from the outside of them. You see, we’re not politicians, Democrats, or, for that matter, important or passionate enough to get into the convention, so for us, well, we get to deal with the silliness that happens outside. Our poor little Denver, uprooted and moved to a National stage, while the rest of us are just trying to do our damn jobs. We’ve already gotten in contact with the folks over at Cycle Jerks, whom will be providing us with a few live tweets and photos (as well as other Bicycle Messengers who get to deal with the blunt sword of the police as well as “new” laws, rules and bike lanes), a Copy Center Manager (who travels to work via bicycle via the Cherry Creek path, i.e. right in the midst of where EVERYONE who gets their free bike for week will be), retail workers (OMG did Barrack Obama send someone to buy the new Coldplay for him! WTFDHDTNROTBA (Why the fuck didn’t he just download the new Republic of Thoronia Band album?), machinery delivery personel, and myself, a mild mannered Medical Records Clerk looking for lunch.

Running up to the events (August 25th-28th), we’ll cover some of the ways Denver has miraculously changed (new bike lanes appearing where car lanes used to be/still are, city streets being cleaned… for a massive amount of people to dirty again, new laws being enforced, security checkpoints, inside the Pepsi Center Parking lot and more).

Anyone else that works downtown or close to it should get in touch with me if you’re interested in eavesdropping on blogger’s Macbook’s, hotel conversations or sexy John Edwards extramarital meetings (Celebrity spotters need too!).

Hello All,

This letter is to officially and honestly announce the Republic of Thoronia Artifacts Exhibit, which will be taking place on September 5th at the Skinny Squirrel Gallery (3047 Larimer St., Denver, Colorado). The exhibit will feature a variety of pieces from collector’s from around the world, with pieces raging in size and scope from booklets to armor, dolls to paintings. Officially licensed exhibitor’s include: Bryan Danknich, Mojiferous J. Colossus, Brandon Knapp and Brent Neustifter, with unofficial applicant’s still waiting approval. The Exhibit will help to found the History of Thoronia in the minds and souls of Denverite’s as well as continue the always running teachings of the Good King Thor. Please feel free to submit your applications for your admissions to this website, and be sure to bring your friends.