The Republic of Thoronia

Wow, what an uneventful day. It seems like Denver prepared us all ten-fold for the DNC, but only three folds worth of protesters showed up, and nobody is downtown. Today Denver metro looked more like the day after Thanksgiving than being in the midst of the biggest convention this town has ever seen. So, where are all the protesters? Scared? Unlikely. In jail? Only a 100 or so so far. Oh, right, they’re all incredibly unorganized! Of course! I’ve been bashing protesters here all week, so forgive me for another, it’s not that I don’t believe in the rights of free speech, or being liberal with idea’s, but when you are going to protest something, combine your forces. Too many different agenda’s have come to Denver and none of them are getting their point across.

There is also the matter of lying. Someone in Denver is lying. 9 News? NPR? The protesters? Whose getting tear gassed, pepper-sprayed and beaten seems to be getting lost in the shuffle. There is one report of an officer hitting a girl from Make Love Not War, confirmed. The rest (the tear gassing at least) seems to be getting confused. Was there tear gas on Monday night? Protesters say yes, cops say yes, media says maybe and the medics say no… and some of them say yes. Have you ever been tear gassed? I have (albeit when the Avalanche won the Stanley Cup, so, not cool like I was at the WTO protests or something) and its not really a confusing matter. You know when it happens, and although it doesn’t really hurt, it confuses you enough that it ought to stand out in your memory.

So, we don’t really know whats going on unless we’re there. I am not there, I don’t want to be there, I don’t care. I have too much to do. But with all the cop bashing and security threats I feel like I have to weigh in on a detail that might get me thrown out of whatever protester circles I might be known in. I feel sorry for the officers. I really do. These men and women are working long hours, in blazing heat, wearing all black uniforms that look as though they weigh 20-30 pounds. That doesn’t sound like fun, and if they get a little pissy at the end of their 16 hour day and lose a bit of their edge, I can’t blame them. Certainly they need to exercise a bit of self-control, but when some pink clad anarchist mumbo-jumbo is spitting in your face and calling you a pig, throwing bottles and cans, it’s inevitable that eventually there is going to be chaos. Of course, that might just be what everyone wants, chaos and the loss of control. Protester’s win, because they can go home and tell a story, whine about it on myspace, and complain about court fees. Cops win because they can make use of some really sweet new gear they got for this event. It’s a win-win.

Personally, I’ll be at home doing homework and playing video games.

What?

So last night we get our first taste of “violence.”Blah blah blah the usual, “they started it,” “no, they started it” hubbub that resulted in a few arrests and no injuries. Maybe improv demonstrations es no bueno eh? Or maybe they are hardcore… Look at their cool masks.

(Rocky Mountain News)

But if you’re going to argue with the police you should really have the force on your side…

Or at least these guys…

(Cyclejerks)

Over at Cyclejerks Jen stepped it up a notch with quite a few photos — certainly nice and bike-centric for those of us on them (which is most of us indeed if I counted heads right yesterday, or how many toes were run over by arrogant/non-riding/dingus brains whom are trying ride downtown for the first time, on the sidewalk, during a protest, with people everywhere). Blarg.

Anyway, check out her Flikr gallery here. Catch her twitter feed here. And don’t forget out twitter too.

My favorite quote from yesterday didn’t come from protester’s and their mispelled signs, not from Brian Williams or Gumbel, not from Koppel or Arakawa — but from the police. In an interview with NPR regarding a package thought to be bad: “It is standard procedure to blow up all suspicious packages.” !!! Standard procedure!!! Man, I never get invited to the cool parties.

Yep, here we are, DNC day one. First day of grad school too. Ugh. Anyway, day one has provided us with many hilarious anecdotes, and although I will let you see the “streets” of Denver in pictures and on your own, I have to share some of my own thoughts on the whole thing.

First and foremost, protester’s are probably the most idiotic bunch of people on the planet. Whether you’re pro-baby-killing-fetus-eating-Obama-liquor-riots-anarchy-gayness-whatever-else or not, that doesn’t mean you have the right to look like a ‘tard, a cosplay reject, an anime character and an overall douchbag. Yep, Rage Against the Machine hasn’t changed shit, why do you think you’re going to? ‘68? Right, that was all you. The point is, your baby-fetus van is stupid, pro-lifers, get a life — your “masks” anarchists? Make you look ridiculous and somehow lowers your intelligence 50 points (especially when its on a 15 year old Highlands Ranch kid that shops at Hot Topic and eats too many Rice Krispy Treats because they’re supposedly vegan). Anarchists? You look like you should be at an Anime festival, not a protest.

And more? Well, the riot cops were nice to me.  A riot girl smiled at me when I walked past. Probably because I’m so darn awesome — or perhaps because I’m under 30 and not wearing all black with a Star Wars haircut and a Braveheart underarm stench. Regardless, eventless, thus far. Photos!

Well, its been very busy here in Thoronia, busy enough that we haven’t really had a chance to update much recently. But, I assure you all, that this will not last forever, and it is indeed a good thing. What’s been happening here? Well, many things. We’ll leave it all to your mind to figure what might be making the waves of crunch then okay? Anyway. Many thoughts cross brain through week. Many. Now share!

• iPhone Firmware update finally goes live – as does App Store. The store already has over 700 programs — but seems to be missing some that I was hoping for at launch, including: Wordpress blog editor (mobile blogging and, more importantly, notes to ourselves), Netflix (so when you recommend a movie to me I actually remember it), native rateyourmusic.com app (I haven’t really delved into this service, but I probably would be more inclined to if I could just sit in front of my LPs with my phone in my lap and rate them).
• There are some things I was really impressed with, including the Ebay App, Crosswords, Pocketpedia (which syncs with a suite of programs on your computer, but also works as a library of stuff that A) you can carry with you B) you can include wishlists so as not to get lost in the book/DVD/Music store), NetNewsWire finally brings RSS to the iPhone, it syncs with NewsGator (even though I prefer to simple yet intuitive Mail.app for my RSS, I guess I’ll just switch on over). There are probably more things that I’d hoped for that never showed, but I don’t remember them now…
• MEDUSA Ray Announced – A new crowd control ray-gun has just entered production by the Sierra Nevada Corporation. The gun uses microwave audio effects to implant sounds and messages inside a person’s head. Why does this sound both exciting and awesome? Because, perhaps the next Republic of Thoronia album will not released on CD, MP3 or LP, but on MEDUSA, and it will be beamed directly into your fucking mind. Brilliant.
• Denver is gonna fuck you up — Denver has been real secretive about its plans for the DNC, but on top of importing an undisclosed amount of police officers, the city (which we here in Thoronia call home) has also ordered: goo guns, sonic ray guns, microwave guns, rainbow guns, happy bullets. There is also a possibility of rock and roll happening at Bar Bar in honor of the Convention’s Friday night… this rock will include the RoT first performance in a couple months, and is at this point, still only a theory.
• A fan outfits a room to look like Mario — But where, oh where, is the furniture going to go?
• Robo-fans — What do you do when you can’t get any fans? You invent some! Weird yet interesting things are happening with the Robot Fan Culture. I can’t even begin to decide what I think about it.
• I’m going to be in the market for a laptop – So if anyone has an Intel based Macbook (or, actually, any Macbook/Powerbook as long as it’ll run OS X 10.5) they want to scrap, or sell cheap, let me know.