Little is known about the origins of the stories that are featured in the First Book of the Republic of Thoronia. What is known is that the book was compiled in 1973 by Sir Athanasius Altair, a monk in Eastern Uzkani. From what we have seen and read up until this point it is understood and accepted that the monk believed that these texts were a collection by the Prophet Roland.

Even less is known of Roland’s life, other than the fact that he devoted all of it to the preaching and studying the Republic. He was the driving factor behind the Good King Thor’s popularity in the early 10th century. From this, we the modern reader and believer in the King’s abundant glory and wisdom, can critique and assess the books of Thoronia with a critical eye, not for hatred of the Republic or the King, but rather to further understand the texts and what they mean in a modern context.

For the purpose of this study, we’ll be breaking the book into more manageable sections. Here, we’ll take a look at the “In the Beginning” section. I am well aware that there is text that comes before this, but it is the belief of this particular critic that these were meant mostly as filler, and were actually written by Athanasius as a means to insert himself into the stories. That being said, these beginnings are still a vital part of the history, and should be studied by those who believe in the Good King and his wisdom. We, however, won’t.

One would think that to begin with “In the Beginning” is to begin with the creation of the universe. It is clear that Roland could never have been there, and it is likely that the Good King spoke to him when he was transcribing the universe’s origins. However, none of that happens “In the Beginning” it all happens before. You’ll notice that “In the Beginning” is not actually a beginning at all, it is, for lack of better words, a trivial and useless meandering across subjects that are clearly beyond the grasp of the Prophet Roland. For instance, the line, “He placed these people next to animals that were like them.” The Prophet Roland believes that the Good King Thor set up the lands of Thoronia by a means of comparison, so that the animals on any given continent would be similar to the humans. The two then, would feed and learn from each other. This is clear in some ways, however, the assumption that the animals were actually present on the planet first is contradicting a statement earlier in the book , “Dear sir, I am King Thor, the one who has created you. I have created a galaxy and universe and dinosaurs and dolphins along with you.” The key word here is “along.” This denotes and assumes that we, the human race were created at the same time as the other animals and were in fact, not placed on the continents in a manner that corresponded with the animals whom were already there.

I would like to offer a new reading to the The First Book of the Republic of Thoronia. It is my belief that the monk, Athanasius, actually has inserted himself up until this point, and perhaps beyond. I have read the original scrolls, and is clear that many, if not all are forgeries based upon how Athanasius had chosen to understand the universe. From the Introduction up until Capitols, the text feels deeply rooted in the slang of the ’70s. It attempts to use humor and banter to push its motives. The business with the tote is still highly suspect, as no other mentions of the tote can be found in any of the other history books, with the exception of the traditional song, “March of the Tote.”

However, these revelations do not negatively affect the words and teachings. On the contrary, the monk was likely a good candidate to continue the teachings of the Good King Thor. Yet I worry that perhaps we, the audience of believers, may lose sight of the Republic’s goals if we accept all these things at face value. We must look closely to better understand not only ourselves, but those around us. Next time we’ll be looking at Capitols. Until then, for the Good King Thor, we move.

Yes folks it’s true. Contrary to what our initial game concepts might have lead you to believe, Mojiferous and I’s Amoeba based puzzler is well on its way to greatness. To kick off the two month long countdown we’ve decided to release the soundtrack early on, so, without further ado… here it is (zip format, individual MP3s below)! Check out Mojiferous’ explanation of the game below the track listing. And as always, feel free to check out the Republic of Thoronia’s other works here.

1. “Welcome to My Body”

2. “Unrest in Dys-century”

3. “Proteus Maximus”

4. “White Blood Cell Hot Body”

5.  “The Truth is Inside”

6.  “Amoeba I’ll Do It Tomorrow”

7.  “Mitosis Are Sore”

8. “Phagocytosis Soda Charm”

_______________________________________________________________

COPIED FROM the Mojiferforum:

Title: Currently, something involving the word Ameba, Amoeba, Hot Sick, etc. etc. (suggestions, anyone?)
Genre: A real-time puzzler… Sort of an ugly man-beast-child of Frogger, Dig Dug, Super Mario Brothers, Portal, and dysentery.
Game Description: You are a parasite (at this stage in development an amoeba), happily going about your business of parasitism inside some unfortunate fellow’s body. You float through the blood stream, looking for nutrients, avoiding phages and antibiotics, and trying to (literally) divide and conquer. The game will be divided into “levels” and “worlds”- each level is a portion of a system or organ within the person’s body you are living within- so for example, the first “world” will likely be the lungs or stomach, with minor “levels” as you advance through the stomach wall and towards whatever organ you’re after next. Each level ends with a “target cell”, much like the flag at the end of a Super Mario level, full of nutrients to allow you to continue your journey, with end-of-world levels home to a much more nutrient rich cell that will give your amoeba enough energy to divide, increasing the number of “lives” you have and opening the door for possible mutation. Mutation is currently planned to be non-directional (meaning neither definitively positive nor negative) and allows for added abilities, special skills, or [possibly] unforeseen consequences.
How it will work: Like Dig Dug married to Super Mario at Frogger’s house… The player will start at one end of the level, with the “target cell” at the opposite end- in between there will be a maze of blood vessels, cells, bone, muscle, etc. etc. The player can move freely through the blood vessels, but they will be the main conduits for immune-response cells (of various kinds), antibiotics, and other such amoeba-eating nasties (everything will move through the blood vessels according to a “pulse”, and in early levels the player may not have strong enough propulsion to overcome this pulse and may be stuck riding the current. Also, as the “patient” gets sicker, the pulse will increase, making the game’s “immune response” faster as levels increase… this is the Frogger part of the game, timing your escape from the white blood cells.) Surrounding the blood vessels will be cells that the player is able to lyse, or burst- much like Dig Dug, tunneling through the body’s organs to get at the “target cell”. Occasionally these normal cells will also hold immune-system nasties or bonus proteins, making them impassible or attractive. Scattered about will also be areas that are impassible (such as bones or muscle tissue), that the player will have to plan around. Big gameplay concept: The amoeba may only destroy a limited number of cells in its quest for the “target cell”, so the player will have to plan their route to the target- will it be through the dangers of the blood stream, or can you make it through the maze of cells and tissue? if only you had enough cell-bursting power…
Graphics: The graphics will be modeled after Gray’s Anatomy (the book, not the TV show), with a woodcut/etched look. Mostly black and white, but with color overlays for blood vessels, target cells, etc. Some important items or places will be labeled in a similar fashion to the book.
Controls: WASD and spacebar

Development Tools:
REALBasic
Illustrator
Inkscape
Gimp
Audacity

Team:
Joe Flores (Mojiferous) – code, design
Thorin Klosowski (King Thor) – design, script, music, sound
Liaht Rosenstein – technical consultation, editor

Additional notes: We’re hoping to have some sort of soundtrack for the game, and recorded dialog (that will sound muddied, as if you were listening to it inside the body) whether that happens, we’ll see…

Development Plan (as of 01/09/09):
1) build a graphics engine for the game with accompanying level editor, post them here, distribute to team (1 week?)
2) design levels, while sound, music, and other assets come together (early Feb?)
3) assemble levels and start building physics and logic for the game (late Feb?)
4) something close to a working game (hopefully by the end of the contest!)

When I was a kid I leaned more towards PC gaming then console gaming. Sure, I had my Genesis and my N64 and my Super Nintendo, but for the most part I enjoyed PC games (probably because the computer was in my room whereas the Nintendo was in the living room). I would go to the grocery store with my mom and eagerly run off to the magazine section to flip through copies of Electronic Gaming Monthly and PC Gamer to read about all the new games.  Unfortunately, EGM has shut its doors on the brink of its 20th anniversary, and its sister site 1up.com is being downsized significantly.  This story isn’t really related to Fallout, but sitting on those cold King Sooper floors and eagerly reading magazine’s was the first thing that popped into my head when I heard the news of EGM’s closing yesterday, and that time period reminded me of the first time I read about Fallout. It was the days before video previews or video reviews, back when you would find a particular reviewer that you learned to trust over time as they reviewed countless game after game. I remember being a kid and thinking to myself that EGM was more grown up than Gamepro, but not as grown up as PC Gamer. It’s strange the way kids rationalize the world, and even stranger that many of those thoughts stick with you for so long.

I wish all the writers who’ve been laid off from EGM and 1up the best of luck.

And onward!

Fallout 3 was one of the biggest games of 2008. So, likely, if I sum it up as an open-world RPG that takes place in a 1950s post-apocalyptic world in which most people want to kill you but some like to talk and you really really want to find your dad but keep getting sidetracked by bright objects and the promise of money or exploding heads, that should suffice. Yeah?

The part about Fallout 3 that I’m interested in talking about is the eerie quality of a go-anywhere do-anything game that demands my complete attention as well as my own moral values. In the game you can kill anything, steal everything and wear whatever you want (in my current game I’m wearing an Ant Super Hero Costume that lowers my Charisma but raises my Agility, it also prompts random children to ask me for an autograph and oh, did I mention? It makes me look like an Ant Super Hero). You can talk your way out of situation or blast your way, steal or outsmart, brains or brawn and you get the point eh?

So what do I do? Do I act out unfulfilled fantasies and attack and steal everything in sight? Do I punch the rude doctor? When offered the opportunity do I detonate a nuclear bomb and explode a whole town? Nope. I act like I do in real life (well, close anyway). I’m polite to even the rudest people, I try not to kill if I can talk my way out of situations and I carry small firearms as opposed to big ones (which, as we all know I generally walk around the city with a rifle slung over my soldier). I decorate my house in science-themes and worry about my pet dog. I don’t take drugs and I wear suits. I sneak around enemies, avoiding conflict whenever possible. Why do I do this? It’s a video game, right? I can do whatever I want, I can get things done the easy way (shooting) so much easier than my stupid methods. Perhaps it’s the post-nuclear D.C. wasteland that pushes me to rise above the rest of the world. I want to help rebuild this society, make it better for everyone. I want to give the poor men water, destroy the evil scientist’s bizarre ant breeding plans and rescue the damsel in distress.

When games give you every opportunity to make yourself evil it’s interesting that many of us take the high road (okay, I’m assuming that others took the high road? None of my close friends did, oddly, which makes me a bit weary when I’m around them now), that our own ethics could have an impact on a game’s play. This time around I’m trying to be evil, but I really have to try, I have to convince myself to steal everything I can, and it’s honestly rather difficult for me. If a game is making the player think this thoroughly about their own moral compass it has to be worth playing, and playing through again and again. Never mind the hundreds of locations to discover and explore, never mind the numerous missions to undertake — the most interesting aspect of Fallout 3 isn’t it’s expanse, but its introversion. A player can feel not only like they are really there in this world, but like their choices matter, like the non-player character’s opinions matter, like perhaps, if you do good in this world, it might reflect how you’ll act in the real world.

I suppose the only way to see how I’d truly act is to start a nuclear war, escape to a vault, wait for the world to be safe to walk in again and find out for myself. For now, Fallout 3 is easier. Now if I could just get those dang super-mutants to like me.

Subject: Show this Friday, November 7th

Hello people. We have announcement making potential. This time, four or five six months ago, the Republic of Thoronia Band played a show. Now we make it again. November 7 at the hi-dive. Opening for Sunburned Hand of Man, Franklin’s Mint and Outer Neon. Funny thing is, show start at 9 o’clock. Not a joke. For real. Be there at 9 or miss the RoTB. Thanks.

Sincerely,

Good King Thor

But to me, it’s healthy. So what has King Thor been doing, other than speculating about Mario’s sexuality? Well, writing boatloads of crap-tacular stories of course! The first one follows the break, unedited, unconstrued, unthoughful… and shared, with you! With optional avoidance measures (don’t push more!).

Aw shit. The fucking “more” button doesn’t work. Click on the post’s title to get the full thing for now. Major, major site redux this weekend (why? Because this one has never been fully operational and I am sick of it — reverting to something a bit simpler with less java-more IE compatibility (as opposed to this one=none)).

It’s a warm day towards the end of spring, and I stood outside the boutique looking up at a brilliant neon sign poking awkwardly out of a second floor five and dime called Lance’s.

As I stood looking on, several people came and looked too, searching for the Holy Grail, a statue of liberty, a truth – whatever I was seeing. Most looked back to me for guidance – as though they were missing something intrinsic to the situation at hand – an old man staring at a sign with glaring sense of acceptance on his face. Back and forth their eyes went – their gazes no different then a gambler at the dog tracks, missing my focal point, then shrugging it off and continuing down the street to the shops.

I was on my way to my father’s funeral. It sounds more difficult than it should. My father wasn’t much of a man and certainly less of a father. It was just another thing to do on a busy day.

“He must be looking at the sign,” the girl said to the boy.
“Don’t be ridiculous. It’s a neon sign for a restaurant. He must be looking at something in the sky.”

The two sat staring for a bit. The boy sat down on the ground like a teen in front of a television. The girl followed suit. The girl thought she saw a star. The boy lit up a cigarette, careful to blow it away from me.

“Have you ever been there, L-a-nce-s?” The girl said, her head cocked to the side like a puppy curious about a toy.
“No.” Said the boy.

Lance’s was my old stomping grounds – sort of, anyway. It’s where my mother and father met, and subsequently where I was conceived. I spent nine months listening to Duke Ellington, or so I’m told. When I was a boy I’d be given a nickel to skip up to the barbershop for a hair cut once every two weeks. After I saw the lunar landing I would try to skip the way Neil Armstrong skipped, more of a slow motion gallop. I was obsessed with space for weeks—until I discovered bottle rockets or dinosaurs or whatever came next.

“What do you think it is?” Asked the girl.
“Looks like a dive. A hole in the wall. I’m sure he’s not staring at that.” Answered the boy.

I glanced down at myself. Right. My Sunday best. I’ve had this suit for two decades. It didn’t fit for one of those, and barely passes for fitting now. It’s been in and out of style, but I think the cut is razor sharp these days. I’d gotten the suit at the beginning of my marriage. It was a birthday gift – a bad one, really. We’d been invited to several high par events and she thought I needed to step into the new world and look presentable for once. I didn’t argue, but would have preferred a new watch. This is the same suit that I watched her buried in. The same suit that’ll bury my father. It’ll probably be the suit I’m buried in as well.

“Maybe he just wants a haircut.” Says the girl to the boy.
“Or maybe he’s a recovering drunk deciding whether or not to get a drink.”

Recovering drunk? No, I was never enough of a drunk to be warrant a recovery. I always pictured this romantic Hemingway drunk. Like it would have given me more personality to be a drunk. A drink here and there was all I took. I couldn’t deal with a hangover. I couldn’t deal with the guilt. I couldn’t deal with the pressure of social interaction. “I could drink right now,” I want to tell them. I could do it and get away with it because I’m not a drunk. I have an excuse. My father is dead. Dead at 102. Feel remorse. 102. Feel remorse. Dead, finally. An old and bitter man who was waiting for his own death all his life, and what did life give him in return? Time. Time to become more bitter. More of a rancorous outlandish pile of refuse.

“We should go.” Said the girl, looking directly into the boys eyes, then at me. “Maybe he just needs to be alone.”
“Sure.” Said the boy. He helped the girl up, and the two started walking away. “I wonder what he’s looking at. I wonder why he hasn’t responded to us. He looks familiar though, doesn’t he? Like someone’s father.”

I looked over at the boy and the girl. Their backs walking the walk of young love. I thought it would be more cinematic if I hated them. If I grimaced, if I was drunk, it’d be a better story, like my father’s. But instead I grinned. I could never achieve his hateful pose – nor his opprobrious remarks of which he was so skilled and capable, perhaps because it was always directed at me.

Obi Best
Capades
Social Science

02:00-02:45 of “Nothing Can Come Between Us”: When I first saw this cover and name, I was really, really hoping that it was going to be a sort of Star Wars meets Feist sort of thing. Unfortunately, it’s just a Feist meets Feist kind of deal. I mean, she didn’t invent it, but Apple sure blew it away. Too bad: “1-2-3-4, Obi-Wan and Yoda score, 5-6-7-8, Darth Vader learns to enunciate” would have been sweet.

Bart Millard
Hymned Again
Simpleville Music

00:00-00:45 of “I Saw the Light”: What the hell kind of good Christian family gives their child a name like Bart Millard? Listen, I know we have a friend in Jesus and all, so can’t you ask him to time travel back to the moment you popped out of yer mama and give you a name change? Maybe switch up your label’s name while you’re at it, too. I mean, “simple” means a couple of different things.

MORE

via [Westword.com]

In Thoronia, people who wear glasses will not be mocked by physics. If you do not wear glasses you may not understand — if you do, take them off and look in the mirror. Put your face really close to the mirror. Why are things in the background still blurry? You are one inch away from them, but the distance is still unseeable. Why is that? What magic powers do a mirror hold that makes your eyesight unable to control the distance? Magic or mockery? In Thoronia, when a near-blind man looks in a mirror they can see as far as the mirror can see.

It’s been snot-wipingly busy here in Thoronia, as the sole provider of funds has been busy fundraising and attending the university. Of course, the university is being attended in order to expand the histories of Thoronia, but for now we’ll just name drop a few interesting things we’ve spotted about the web or on the shelves.

• *If you don’t already know, David Foster Wallace took his own life last week. He was an amazingly astute and unbelievably talented writer — one whom unwittingly contributed to the Thoronian histories in more ways than one. Although much of his work is amazing, my personal favorite is “Host,” a non-fiction article published in the Atlantic three years ago. The online version does it no justice, but I can’t give you all a copy of it in print.

• *Speaking of snot-wiping, a member of Thoronia has started working on an article looking at Super Mario Bros. 3, and I don’t mean just looking — it’s deep analysis of Super Mario Bros. 3 using Freud, uncanny and Oedipus Rex.

• *Speaking of absurdness, curious as to what is being read in Thoronia right now? Here’s the what hit the chopping block pre-August 25th:

Sarah Vowell — The Partly Cloudy Patriot

David Foster Wallace — The Broom of the System

David Mitchell — Ghostwritten

Haruki Murakami — What I Talk About When I Talk About Running

• *And here is what I got slammed with post August 25th:

Meredith Brosnan — Mr. Dynamite

Renee Gladman — Juice

Patrik Ourednik — Europena

Adolfo Casares — Invention of Moral

Anchor Book of New American Short Stories

Norton Anthology of Theory and Criticism

Feminist Theory Reader: Local and Global Perspectives

• *On a completely unrelated note, NHL 09 is by far the best sports game ever to grace a console system — better than 94, better than Tecmo Bowl, better than Mutant League.

• *If you’ve ever played Portal, the highly addictive, interesting, amazing, talked about, awesome, sweet ass, puzzle 3D game, than you’ll likely appreciate this video, which sets the amazing end credits song to some typographical fun.

Portal – Still Alive typography from Trickster on Vimeo.

• *I’ve been trying my best to give the most talked about game of the last 5 years a real play through, but Spore seems to me like a remarkably ambitious, creative effort that went bad. It’s one of the most boring games I’ve ever played — web browser flash games have more depth. However, the actual game, what it does, what it accomplishes, and what happens when you stick with it is remarkable — I mean, if you’re into that whole creationist evolution theory (we here in Thoronia know that the Good King Thor created all). I’ll probably hit it up again come my next three day weekend, but for now, I’ll sit awkwardly in disappointment, thinking that perhaps I just didn’t “get it.”

• *Speaking of King Thor, the Republic of Thoronia Band just got a date to play a show. Mark November 7th on your calenders, take the night off work and come on down for some Friday Night Fun at the hi-dive with The Republic of Thoronia Band, Franklin’s Mint and Sunburned Hand of Man. Show starts at 9:00 sharp kids (if you haven’t been to a show at the hi-dive recently, let me tell you, they’ve whipped it into shape, when it says the show starts at 9:00, the show starts at 9:00), and the RoTB will be kicking it off and getting it started!

• *In case anyone was wondering, here are my picks for holiday games of the year: Dead Space, Far Cry 2, Fallout 3, Prince of Persia and Little Big Planet.

• *That’s all I got.

Republic of Thoronia Schwag!

If that’s not enough than there will be art too! Brent Neustifter’s monster! Brandon Knapp’s shield! Mojiferous’ Smoking KT/Jesus! Bryan Danknich’s animals! Cameron Munier’s Constitution! MORE! MORE! MORE!

Wonder what other people are saying? How about the Westword!?!

——————————————————————————

Of Gods and Men

By Mark Dragotta

Published on September 04, 2008

This letter is to officially and honestly announce the Republic of Thoronia Artifacts Exhibit, which will be taking place on September 5th at the Skinny Squirrel Gallery (3047 Larimer St., Denver, Colorado). The exhibit will feature a variety of pieces from collector’s from around the world, with pieces raging in size and scope from booklets to armor, dolls to paintings. Officially licensed exhibitor’s include: Bryan Danknich, Mojiferous J. Colossus, Brandon Knapp and Brent Neustifter, with unofficial applicant’s still waiting approval. The Exhibit will help to found the History of Thoronia in the minds and souls of Denverite’s as well as continue the always running teachings of the Good King Thor. Please feel free to submit your applications for your admissions to this website, and be sure to bring your friends.

I’m not one to generally go about internet-Bush-bashing, but this was one of more funny clips from our president’s legacy, and sounds too much like something King Thor might have said. Perhaps that’s were he’s run off to than? Into Bush’s body? Only time will tell.

Anyway, for the time being I’ll be pointing you to some of the stupidest things on the internet I’ve found. I would also like to point out that, although I think RSS is a lovely invention, it appears to be destroying a vast majority of my free time and my work time. I sit and read stupid fanboy shit all the time and what do I learn? Oh, that Nintendo’s lineup for the next year caters to the casual crowd and the casual crowd alone — way to indtroduce an innovative system and than abandon it. Whoops — a little off track. Fuck it, here are some links with self indulgent witty banter in-between.

• Dinosaur set loose in museum. Freaks the fuck out of one little kid while a mom extents her hand to let it sniff her. Did you freaking see Jurassic Park? Stay still! Stay still!
• Exoskeleton helps dude up and walk. I’m not really a fan of being handicapped, but, wait, that came out wrong. I’m not really interested in being handicapped, but if I could have an exoskeleton I’d be totaly into it. Maybe I can get one anyway.
• If you couldn’t figure it out based on the name, College Humor is usually a remarkably stupid site, filled with the dumbest bullshit internet film buff wannabe’s can produce — but this video depicting fonts as humans has a few moments that might cause a chuckle.
• Rush isn’t good at playing their own song on Rock Band. Of course, if you can play an instrument you usually aren’t very good at pretending to play the same instrument using simplified Simon Says-like commands.

Man, I thought there was more… apparently I just spent my time this last week reading boring crap that is only of interest to me. Great.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy playing a few games online, but of these, all are based on games that are single player package as well — Call of Duty 4, Metal Gear Online — these are simply kill ‘em up, shoot ‘em dead sort of randomness that we all know can be more relaxing after a hard day’s work then a spa. What worries me are things like World of Warcraft, Neopets, or whatever other MMO a developer is churning up these days. I use video games to escape reality, to relax, and to enjoy a good plot/gameplay/fun. I don’t want to meet people by doing it — to me video games are much like watching a movie, something I might enjoy doing with friends here and there, but not something I’d do to meet new ones. 

The point here is that MMO’s step back the few leaps and bounds that video games have made over the last 25 years. When we finally start getting solid, well written scripts with good/mediocre voice acting, when we finally start getting involved with character development, when we finally start seeing a progression of “higher level” games, when indie developers are getting a chance to develop for console’s — we are being threated by the “human factor.” The human factor isn’t as good as a well written script — some 15-year old in Alburqueque does not having anything interesting to say to me, other than to perhaps call me a “fag,” “noob” tell me how he just “pwned” me or perhaps attack with a racial slur he assuredly doesn’t understand. 

I can honestly say that I don’t want human interaction in video games. I don’t care about mic support, text support or any of the other hub-bub. I want well written, engaging video games that spend more than 20 minutes coming up with a plot, one that they might not have ripped off from a ’60s sci-fi pulp.

Really, all that King Thor cares about is this: Keep on making your MMO’s, but don’t think for a second that humans will ever replace a quality, interesting A.I. Take Metal Gear Solid for example — if those guards had any intelligence, if they responded like real human beings? The game wouldn’t be fun or funny. 

• The new Girl Talk album Feed the Animals is totally hot. It’s the same old fun and weird clash of songs into ridicuous mashups as Night Ripper and Unstoppable, but Girl Talk gets at least three or four of these before it gets old.
• I never saw Iron Man. Which is really dissapointing, because I really wanted to see it — as stupid as it sounds. But you know what. I’m going to go see Wall-E this week. That’s right. Fucking Wall-E. Apparently it’s pretty good, no speaking for the first 40 minutes, hardly any pop-culture references, no celebrity voices, and the object of Wall-E’s desire, some female robot, was designed by one of Apple’s lead designer’s Jonathan Ives (and apparently the movie is filled with Apple eye-candy and easter eggs).
• Call me pretensious, or a nerd, or boring (like some of my more, eh-hem, effeminate coworkers), but I love NPR. I love it so much, and I am really sorry to see Fair Game, with the lovely host Faith Sallie going off the air. Right to your local station, send money to support podcasts, protest! Bring Fair Game back wih it’s hilarious new-programming, satire, interview magic. Please?
• I am absolutely in love with Metal Gear Solid 4. Yeah, it’s linear, it’s got 45-90 minute cutscenes. It’s only about 20 hours long (although I haven’t actually finished it yet, I’ve been savouring it). But, it’s got some of the best control, weirdest plots, and is by far the most ambitious video game series of all time. You can argue that the voice acting isn’t that great, or the plot is convulted like a David Lynch film — but the point is that Kojima is trying. He is one of the few producers/designers that understands the potential complexity and interactivity of video games and their place in the future — oh, and it’s always fun when video games break the fourth wall
• MGS4 is only taking up my time until Fallout 3 comes out. Which happens to be around the same time I will also be: working 40 hours a week, going to grad school, planning the Republic of Thoronia Museum Exhibit, writing my usual freelance crap, finishing all the work on the Game, playing shows (supposedly), losing friends, and sleeping less.
• Some of the clients have great names.
• Just an update on the RoTExhibit: We now have a large selection of artists interested in contributing. Including, but not limited to (not all have confirmed that they can locate their exhibit pieces, several have stressed the desire to showcase some of their artifacts, but are still weary of showing them to the public for fear of destruction, so this is a “possible” list of donors), Brent Neustiffler, Joe Flores, Jeremy Peterson, Bryan Danknich (waiting on confirmation), Rich Ryon, + silk screen prints, possibly a battle axe, furniture from the revolution of 1623 (contributed by Elliot Leslie), the original tote, Christiné Friberg’s stuffed Thor doll(s), diarama’s by the residing King, and a possible appearence by the Good King Thor himself. Also being worked on is a comprehensive history graph and chart depicting major events as well as where each piece of art was created, by whom, and when. Exciting!
• Bill Gates retired this week. Maybe Microsoft will start making a worthwhile operating system now.

]]> http://blog.mcbya.net/2008/randumb-thoughts-from-the-week-of-623/feed/ 0 http://blog.mcbya.net/2008/hey-there/ http://blog.mcbya.net/2008/hey-there/#comments Wed, 18 Jun 2008 04:33:52 +0000 King Thor http://blog.mcbya.net/?p=83

King Thor and his internet connection have been arguing lately. It is believed that this is due to the FBI’s wiretapping the line after the release of the first book. Please stand by with us through these technical difficulties, if necessary, King Thor has aligned himself with several militants and prophets that will continue the stories and teachings of the Republic of Thoronia. Plans and situations have been set forth to ensure that the Republic of Thoronia — no matter what happens to King Thor, will never die.

Music for the Office

You work in an office, your coworkers listen to the FAN or KBCO all day and you’re darn sick of hearing the same Tom Petty song at 3:00, the same Stone Temple Pilots song at 3:04 and the same Feist song at 3:08. Well, what are you going to do about it? You’re gonna rock, you’re gonna make your own playlist. You’re gonna pick anyone friendly artists and songs that aren’t always on the radio — and you’re gonna show them who’d in charge (note: “Psychopharmacology” only applies to a certain sect of individuals in this country, of which I am privy too). This sucker is office friendly and if it’s not about work it’s good for it (you know, for inspiration and such). Enjoy.

(note: Some of these overlapped with the “Songs for the Unemployed, Songs for the Working,” mix. Get over it.)

Dear Woman (Man?),

I am not sure what was going through your mind when you decided to leave your underwear on my bicycle outside of The Satellite last Saturday evening. I would like to know though, this was a very intriguing event in my life and has raised many question regarding morality and the art of decision making.

First and foremost I have to wonder if perhaps you soiled yourself, and didn’t want to pollute the streets — but that idea is limited by the fact that the underwear in question didn’t seem to have any soil marks on them. It is also interesting to note that these underwear were quite large, meaning that you must have been a fairly full bodied women. Did you take these off for the sole purpose of putting them on my bicycle? Perhaps you just found them on the ground and then placed them on my bicyle? 

Was this some sort of archaic breeding exercise? Are you looking, perhaps, to gather some of the Good King Thor’s life in your pelvis? If that is the case, I must respectfully decline, The Good King already has a Queen, and although flattered is a word that could be used to describe his feelings, it’s simply not going to be a possibility. 

Yet, it is still within the realm of a childish prank — yet a few things emerge that make this less plausible. First off, the people I was there with were all with me for the entirety of my stay, and I don’t usually spend a great deal of time with the type of people who would place their underwear, or someone else’s on my bicycle. Mostly because most of my friends are keen on hygiene, and would likely not pick up someone else’s underwear off the ground in order to execute a prank. 

So, geez, I just don’t know. I can’t imagine what set of decisions would spark this result, and certainly can’t imagine a circumstance that this pair of underwear could have ended up where it did if this wasn’t a random event. Still, it’s questionable — if anyone has any clues, ideas, or perhaps even just an answer to how this large pair of black colored women’s underwear could have ended up strapped around my seat post, I would be happy to entertain any notions that you might be able to conjure up.

Sincerely, 

King Thor

Oh, they aren’t even the worst of them.

Don’t bother mentioning the simple fact that I was already at Kotaku when I found this image. I understand the irony.

For all of you who love to remix (maybe what, one, two people?) the Republic of Thoronia  Episode 1 album is now ready to be remixed and chopped and screwed and etcetera by all of you. You know its kind of like what that one band did… what were they called? Dismemberment Plan. What were you thinking? Radiohead? No they ripped it off from DP. Anyway, only four tracks available now. If you want more, let me know. They are being uploaded at this moment, so if you try to download them this instant (09:45 AM MTN) then you’ll just get an error. Enough babble…

• “Here is Where We Are” (Remix Tracks 124MB)
• “March of the Tote” (Remix Tracks 126 MB)
• “When the King Comes Home” (Remix Tracks 60 MB)
• “For Him We Move” (Remix Tracks 91 MB)

That’s right folks, the first Republic of Thoronia full-length album, Episode 1, is now available! Now, there are several ways for you to go about getting said album:

Download .zip

Download Mp3’s individually

Download individual tracks for remix (set your face to “stun” for the file size, 1.1 GB… youch!)

UPDATE: REMIX TRACKS WILL BE UP TOMORROW/WEDNESDAY – My server doesn’t want a 1.1 GB file resting inside it’s laurels, so I’m going to cut up and divide three of the tracks into three seperate downloads. For now, just enjoy the album, you can do your fiddling with it later.

That’s it!

The MP3’s are all 192kps, high quality. Enjoy.

TRACK LISTING

01 — Introduction to Thoronia (narration)

02 — Here is Where We Are

03 — What the Good King Must Say (Narration)

05 — Interlude

06 — When the King Comes Home

07 — The Unicorn Man (Narration)

08– For Him We Move

Super Ants Attack Houston — Yep, super ants. They use their dead to build bridges over pesticide, have multiple queens and are destroying electronics. Take that Sylvester Stallone!

Chinese realize censorship is bad, or at least that they can’t control it… — The recent earthquake in Central China has given us some terrifying images. Suprisingly, the Chinese government hasn’t tried to hold back a nation that boasts being the leader in owners of cell phones, digital cameras and other gadgetlike do-hickeys.

Toyota tries to show Honda’s Asimo whose boss – Fails, because nothing is cooler than Asimo.

For those worried about zombie related injuries – Wired has a wiki-how to for you. Go! Get out! Hurry!

Neil Young gets a spider named after him — A biologist at East Carolina University has named a trapdoor spider Myrmekiaphila neilyoungi. I’ve always thought Neil Young’s strange hair was a little spider like.

Myspace wins Spam lawsuit — I’m sure that we’ll all get a piece of that financial pie. No?

Cyclists take to freeway — Proof that cyclists can have hard heads some times. But, you know, proves that gridlocked traffic sucks too.

Decemberists prove they’re smart by opening up for… Obama? – Yep, now even indie bands have a say. Didn’t the Canadian act Arcade Fire do the same thing? Well, at least the Decemberists can vote in America. Of course, they don’t help Obama’s struggle with the working class, being the slightly pretentious college educated folk that they are. But they do up the adorability factor of Obama’s campaign.

Don’t worry, the Scarlett Johanson album is terrible – I mean really really really really really really really really really really really bad. Even if you don’t like Tom Waits you’ll be offended. It’s even produced by one fo the guys from TV on the Radio, has some famous people like some guy named Nik Zinner and some flamboyant guy named David Bowie doing stuff — but guess what? You can’t stop a piece of shit from stinking by adding more crap to it!

King Thor was going to start recording on Sunday — And realized that he was missing a power chord. Boo-urns. Don’t fret though! The recording starts today. Geffen Records here I come!