A Year in Reviews Part 6: The Rest

January 17th, 2009 § 2

The Constitution of Thoronia

2008 was  a year of missed opportunities. Companies, as usual, rushed to the holiday storefronts and delivered lackluster products in order to keep them timely. One company did this more than any other: Ubisoft is the winner of the year for Best Games That Were Almost Perfect Yet Still Managed To Have One or Two Fatal Flaws That Ruined the Whole Game for Many People award. Some of these games were released with regular old bugs, some with game play flaws, some with graphic flaws, and one game was released with no flaws whatsoever, but being the type of game that it is didn’t garner that much hype behind it. Either way, here we go, the rest of the best of whatever it was I got my hands on this year!

Resistance 2 — Action games are usually pretty easy to execute, run kill run kill run kill story run kill run kill. Resistance 2 tries to be something more with absolutely horrid results. The game misses a giant, easy to hop onto barge when it comes to it’s story. *SPOILER ALERT* The plot follows the continued adventures of Nathan Hale, a soldier infected with an alien virus. Yeah, it’s stupid, but being the second game we’ve gotten used to the premise and even might have gotten close to Hale. Quickly that closeness is removed with shotty storytelling and phoned-in voice acting (literally, the voice acting sounds like it was recorded on a analog tapedeck, run through a washer, put out to dry and then played over a phone line to a Radioshack microphone). What’s worse is the fact that the story is so easy to tell that you’re constantly slapping your forehead as you play: Man sacrifices self to save humanity. Easy-peasy yeah? You’d think that Sony, a gigantic company could’ve hired at least one writer for this script right? A script about a man that is willing to die for his country, that, in fact DOES DIE FOR HIS COUNTRY. And how did I feel when I got shot in the face and the game ended? Happy. Thank goodness they killed me, I thought, happy days, I thought, but, why? I was just shot and I don’t care at all. Okay, okay, some of you are screaming that action games don’t need plots, you don’t need to care about your character… my only response is that if action games don’t want plots then don’t tack them on, don’t decide early in the game to kill your main character at the end if you don’t want to attempt to illicit an emotional responce from the player. So, the story was bland and uninspired, big deal. But the game was an action-game, and action games are no-nonsense fun right? Not with Resistance 2, apparently. The game doesn’t reward you for learning its mechanics or trying out new methods, it rewards you for dying. It’s this type of trial and error game play that, although interesting and fun in the 16-bit era, isn’t really interesting or fun now. Sure, it’ll get the job done, but isn’t advanced AI, player choice and a sense of intelligence and accomplishment where the industry should be heading by now?

Dead Space — Ah, survival horror, the genre that seems to be lost and confused and unable to rescue itself. Dead Space promised to revitalize the genre, give us back something, something new and exciting, a story, a universe a world a theory a blast. It was so damn close — but lacking in some major ways. The world that we get is created through out of the box movies, comics and shorts, the world exists around the game, but fails inside of it. Unfortunately, Dead Space’s biggest flaw comes from its ambition. It really wants the player to buy into the world with an inventive HUD, System Shock-esque storytelling and in game cutscenes. Unfortunately, they forgot to make the ship that you spend the entire game on believable as a living habitat. I’ll take the world, I’ll accept the twisted Scientology-esque plot line, I’ll even accept the girlfriend-gone-missing-turned-ghost part, but could we get a little bit of trash on the spaceship? Maybe some bathrooms? A kitchen? I wanted to believe in this game, to inhabit its world, but EA failed on one of the simplest parts. Dead Space 2? Trash? Bathrooms? Ducking?

NHL 09 – I love hockey, but hockey games aren’t really a yearly necessity for me. I’ll pick one up every few years, or even as rarely as once a generation. However, NHL 09 isn’t just another sports game — and regardless of your thoughts on the sport or sports games in general, it’s difficult not to love NHL 09 for what it accomplishes. Not only are the animations, physics, game play, modes and controls all superior to prior versions, it also introduces the closest thing to an MMO for sports nuts ever seen in sports game. Full online leagues, 6 player co-op, experience points, tournaments — this is the WoW for people with a crush on Mike Modano, Warhammer for those of us who dance in glee when a game is actually broadcast in HD. Simply put, NHL 09 is the best sports game in recent history.

Prince of Persia — Wow, I haven’t seen a game get hated on, loved on, and talked about this much in a while. For a game so polarizing you’d think people would have more concrete ideas, but even some of the best critics still seem to be a bit confused about whether or not they actually enjoyed themselves while playing. Personally, I just bought the thing yesterday for less than $30 which means that my expectations for the game are a bit lower than people people that paid $60. If I enjoy the game for 6 hours I’d say that I’d have gotten my money’s worth. PoP is one of the examples of Ubisoft missing it’s mark again, regardless of my own playthrough reactions (the other times being Far Cry 2 this year, and Assassin’s Creed last year). The company is getting damn close to a great game, but keeps on falling short. You can read what many, many others have said about Prince of Persia by following these links:

And that’s pretty much it for me. A few DS games popped onto my screens, some downloadable’s, small stuff that I don’t really feel like going to in-depth about. 2008 was, for the most part, a good year, one that showcased the release of a few games with startlingly large ambitions. It’s those ambitions that make 2009 and beyond so exciting. So what do we in Thoronia want to see in the future? Well…

  • New IP Price drops — Games like Dead Space, Mirror’s Edge and Little Big Planet would have been better received had they plopped into the marketplace at $40. Game companies need to remember that games, like all medium benefit highly from word of mouth, and if we all chip in to talk about new titles they’ll eventually sell well. Every other media-industry is willing to give early-adopters a price break, why not video games?
  • Reviewers need to judge games based on what they do – It seems like the 20-something nerdballs that have become game-reviewers for the major online sites have got the pretension stick so far up their ass that they’ve forgotten that there are hundreds of different types of gamers out there. We all can’t be fit into the two main categories of hardcore and casual. Reviews need to look at a game and what it is supposed to accomplish and judge accordingly. Oh, and online-centric games like Left 4 Dead or Socom need to be reviewed AFTER the launch. I mean, c’mon, how can you review a game without actually playing it? Oh, and on the same topic, reviewers need to finish the games they review. Too many this year have fessed up after the fact that, “well, I’m only on the third level, but I really like it so far…”
  • Games need to find their place — We the community and we the gamers need to let developers figure out what they’re doing this year. We need to give them a bit of lee-way as each director and producer learns their place in video game creation. Not all games are going to fit easily into a category and subsequently not all categories are going to hold all the games. In order to expand the medium into something truly special, gamers need to stop crying foul when a developer tries something new. Actually, gamers and fanboys really just need to shut their mouths when it comes to things they don’t understand. I haven’t chimed in on the goofiness of Gears of War 2 for a very distinct reason — I don’t care. So if you don’t, then don’t say anything. The internet is unforgiving, and trust me, when you’re older, and you google your name and find the stupid things you’ve said, you’ll feel, well, stupid.
  • DLC needs to go away, patches need to come quicker — Microsoft, don’t be a bunch of dicks. If a game, especially an online based game launches and needs some patching, let the developer do it quickly. And developers (Bethesda, I’m looking at you), don’t charge us the price of another game for expansion packs. Look, Fallout 3 was great, but I already paid $60 for it. Now you want me to spend another $30 on your expansion packs? The ones that easily could have been included on the disc if you weren’t so keen on getting it out for Christmas? No. No. No. This market isn’t going to sustain you’re stupid additions and you need to look at companies like Valve to understand what keeps gamers happy and ready to come back for more. Free upgrades, map packs and patches.
  • Trust us, developer’s we’re smart — Game companies and developer’s need to realize that a growing majority of gamers are intelligent and willing to let a game challenge their mind as well as their ethics. We are well read and understand complex concepts, you don’t need to dumb down, or worse, remove idea’s from games because you think we won’t get it.
  • Rereleases and sequels — You know how the movie industry is always made fun of for doing stupid things like My Bloody Valentine 3D? Or Spiderman 3? Well, you’re doing that too. Stop. Come up with new ideas or take a cue from a series like Final Fantasy where a game might just exist in a world, or format — we don’t need to continued versions of your already despicable plot lines. Spiritual successors are all well and fine with us.
  • Social Components — Not all games have to be online. Not all games need to shared. We, in an era where games are loved for their multi-player to the point of a lack thereof takes points away from a score, need to remember that playing with yourself can be just as fun and relaxing.
  • Downloadable Titles — Which is different than DLC, mind you. The three console networks have at their fingertips the picture perfect distribution system (look at Steam console makers). Unfortunately, this has so far been wasted on titles that would be better suited for an arcade than a living room (or again, back to the rereleases: emulation, Dreamcast games, HD upgrades (wherein they make the game kind of blurry and put some artistic bars on the sides of the screen), and a surprisingly large amount of SCHMUPS on the 360). Of course, there are exceptions, but games like Everyday Shooter and Braid proved that a single person could make an amazing game and get it out to hundreds of thousands of people. Sony , now is your chance to showcase your innovation by latching onto more innovative developers. Quick, while Microsoft is busy trying to update Bad Boys to play on the 360, find a help release more games like Flower and Nobi Nobi Boy. Show PS3 users, even if it’s for pretend, that you’re all about the little guys.
  • The Cross-Platform Multiplayer Pipedream – It’s 2009, there are three main consoles and PCs. Most games are developed for at least three of these major four. Add onto that we’re also in a recession were few people own multiple systems. Now, I’m not a huge online guy, I prefer a good single player experience. But games like Call of Duty 4 and Left 4 Dead were great life-distractions (if I didn’t have Call of Duty 4 while I was unemployed I don’t know what I would have done with myself). Unfortunetly, I’m a one console person, and it’s difficult to talk friends into buying the PS3 version of games due to the stigma attached to PSN. Now, if PC games can run on a number of systems I don’t see why I wouldn’t be able to play COD4 with a XBOX, I realize Microsoft is money hungry and loves charging for all of their services, but I’d be willing  to sacrifice a little bit of cash for some cross-platform play, and I’m sure others would as well. But then again, maybe that’s why I’m not working in the marketing department anywhere.

3rd Annual Holiday Gift Guide/Best Of…

December 1st, 2008 § 2

So, this is our third annual holiday gift guide, three years running, that’s right! Anyway, what you’ll probably notice is that we’ve combined the best of the year list with the holiday list. Why? Because we’re pretentious like that and figure that if it’s not good enough for the residents of Thoronia it’s not good enough for anyone. Anyway, here are our medium-favorites and our recommendations for who you should buy them for!

MUSIC

  1. Nick CaveDig!!! Lazarus Dig!!!
    • Perfect Gift For: Aging rockers who don’t get to hit up the record store’s as much as they used to.
  2. Hercules and Love AffairHercules and Love Affair
    • Perfect Gift For: People who like to dance in their cars and in their showers, but not in public.
  3. Fleet FoxesFleet Foxes
    • Perfect Gift For: That brother or sister who really likes mainstream rock and has been teetering on the “indie” fence for a while.
  4. Sigur Rós Með suð í eyrum við spilum endalaust
    • Perfect Gift For: The Aunt that really likes Pete Seeger, that weird whale mating music disc and Tangerine Dream.
  5. LindstrømWhere You Go I Go Too
    • Perfect Gift For: The cousin that’s been a bass-head for so long is brain is numb.

Lost and Found from Long Ago (our favorite old records that were new to us this year)

  1. Lucia PamelaInto Outer Space with Lucia Pamela
    • Perfect Gift For: Your roommate who keeps playing Daniel Johnston records.
  2. Magma1001 Centigrades
    • Perfect Gift For: The dad or uncle that was really into Yes but never bothered to check out what the French Experimental Prog-Rock scene was like (and who did, really?).
  3. Simon & Garfunkel Complete Columbia Recordings
    • Perfect Gift For: Mom.
  4. Tommy James and the Shondells Travelin’
    • Perfect Gift For: Your friend or family member that won’t shut up about “how great this song is” every time “Crimson and Clover” comes on, but doesn’t actually own any of the bands albums.
  5. Byron Lee and Mighty Sparrow — Only a Fool
    • Perfect Gift For: The weird aunt that collects frogs and didgeridoos.

GAMES

GAME OF THE YEAR Metal Gear Solid 4 (PS3)

Perfect Gift For: Anyone with a PS3. Hell, buy them a PS3 so they can play this game.

ROLEPLAYING GAME OF THE YEAR Fallout 3 (PS3/XBOX 360/PC)

Perfect Gift For: The weirdo in the family who is really into 1950s style nostalgia… and nuclear war.

ACTION GAME OF THE YEAR Far Cry 2 (PS3/XBOX 360/PC)

Perfect Gift For: Your brother who could always find new and creative ways to kill ants (he was way passed the whole “magnifying glass trick” on the first day.

PLATFORM GAME OF THE YEAR/MOST CREATIVE GAME OF THE YEAR Little Big Planet (PS3)

Perfect Gift For: Anyone a bit “over” Mario, aspiring game designers and everyone with a heart.

BIGGEST LET DOWN OF THE YEAR Dead Space (PS3/XBOX 360/PC)

Perfect Gift For: People who just love, love, love, love, love horror games… because nobody else is going to think this game was worth a damn.

MULTIPLAYER GAME OF THE YEAR Left 4 Dead (XBOX 360/PC)

Perfect Gift For: Anyone that plays a lot of games online and is looking for a new experience. Or kids that need to make some friends and learn social skills and team work.

SPORTS GAME OF THE YEAR NHL 09 (PS3/XBOX 360)

Perfect Gift For: Any fan of sports games. Even if you don’t like hockey games.

BEST USE THE FPS FORMAT WHILE TRYING SOMETHING NEW GAME OF THE YEAR Mirror’s Edge (PS3/XBOX 360)

Perfect Gift For: The videogamer in the family that has every game, plays every game… chances are they passed on this excellent little innovator.

BEST REMINDER OF HOW FREAKING HARD GAMES USED TO BE Street Fighter II Turbo HD Remix (PS3/XBOX 360)

Perfect Gift For: Sodomists, adults that have fond memories of Ryu, quarters and painful hours of that one kid just going back and forth across the screen as M. Bison.

BEST GAME ON THE GO Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia (DS)

Perfect Gift For: That cousin that owns a DS specifically so he can continue to play new versions of Castlevania: Symphony of the Night on the bus.

BEST GAME TO DUST OFF AND PLAY AGAIN Tossup between: Syndicate and Full Throttle.

Perfect Gifts For: The older gamer who still has his Pentium II with Windows 2000 loaded up.

BOOKS

This year we’ve been living in unemployment, living through Grad School, and living through 40 hour job+Grad School, so the books list is a little shorter than usual…

  1. Roberto Bolano2666
    • Perfect Gift For: Book lovers who like the feeling of being lost, confused and rewarded.
  2. Chuck KlostermanDowntown Owl
    • Perfect Gift For: The writer in the family who balances fiction writing with feature writing.
  3. David SedarisWhen You Are Engulfed In Flames
    • Perfect Gift For: That lovable uncle that listens to This American Life every Sunday afternoon and then tells you about the episode on Monday.
  4. Oliver SacksMusicophilia
    • Perfect Gift For: The estranged friend who happens to really enjoy music and… neuroscience. You know the friend, the one that can have all the fun stripped out of something and still enjoy the science of it all.
  5. Michael ChabonMaps and Legends
    • Perfect Gift For: The aspiring author of any age.

MOVIES

Yeah, we didn’t have a lot of time for movies this year, so the list is a little… bleh.

  1. Wall-E
    • Perfect Gift For: The one person in the family who didn’t already buy this for themselves or for someone else.
  2. Funny Games
    • Perfect Gift For: Family members that enjoy it when movies screw with them, use meta techniques and creep the living daylights out of them. See also, Schizopolis.
  3. John Adams
    • Perfect Gift For: The history buff will love this movie, and they probably haven’t seen it because we all know that history buff’s tend not to want to spend the extra money a month on HBO.
  4. Encounters at the End of the World
  5. Iron Man
    • Perfect Gift For: Um… um…. nevermind, 90% of America already owns this and its on 100% of the DVD holiday gift guides.

Alright, one more Little Big Planet post and I’m done (until the RoT level comes out)

October 27th, 2008 § 0

It’s a rare event when a video game licences the soundtrack and gets above-average results. Sure, EA Sports will continually drive “whatever the kids are listening to” down your throat while playing NHL or Madden, and at times a random sandbox title will throw down some cleverly chosen classic tunes. Hell, their was a Prince of Persia video floating around a few months ago that had a Sigur Rós song in it. But never in any of my experiences have I seen licensed music in a video game that could have easily been the lineup for day two of the Pitchfork Music Festival. Of course, most people that have seen and played Little Big Planet on the PLAYSTATION 3 will argue that there has never been anything quite like Little Big Planet.

The most noticeable (and some would argue definable) track that indie rockers across the globe will recognize is the Go! Team’s “Get it Together,” which not only perfectly defines the mood and play of the game, but sets the stage for every other licensed track. Sure, as with all video games, the original compositions have their moments, but I would argue that running around as a burlap sackboy and dodging fire while clinging to felt and listening to Battles’ “Atlas” has got to be one of the greatest moments in video game history.

If Go! Team and Battles aren’t surprising enough, then perhaps the rest of the soundtrack is — would, say, DJ Krush’s “Song 2″ surprise you? Or maybe James Pants’ “Rhythm Trax 7?” How about the absolutely adorable “My Patch” by Jim Noir? For the worldy folks we get tracks from Café Tacuba, Ananda Shankar and the Toumani Diabate’s Symmetric Orchestra (who incidentally set back the release date of the game due to some “controversial lyrics”).

The point doesn’t have to be who the bands are, but the fact that these bands are in a VIDEO GAME — not in the title screen, playing in the background, title of a sports game, not in the pattern-copy, glorified Simon Says kind of way of Guitar Hero, not in the “radio” function of a sandbox car thieving of GTA IV — the music is an integral part to the look and feel of how Little Big Planet works. It’s a massive toy for the world to play with and share, and embraces the ideal’s of D.I.Y. with a massive, creative level builder. This is our game, not the developer’s not the publishers — this is your game and mine, we make it what we want.

It might be too early to call whether Little Big Planet will be the video game industries Garden State or its Wes Anderson, but the point is that it gets closer to both than anything before it.

Business as usual — weekly update on what you’ve missed

September 16th, 2008 § 0

It’s been snot-wipingly busy here in Thoronia, as the sole provider of funds has been busy fundraising and attending the university. Of course, the university is being attended in order to expand the histories of Thoronia, but for now we’ll just name drop a few interesting things we’ve spotted about the web or on the shelves.

  • *If you don’t already know, David Foster Wallace took his own life last week. He was an amazingly astute and unbelievably talented writer — one whom unwittingly contributed to the Thoronian histories in more ways than one. Although much of his work is amazing, my personal favorite is “Host,” a non-fiction article published in the Atlantic three years ago. The online version does it no justice, but I can’t give you all a copy of it in print.
  • *Speaking of snot-wiping, a member of Thoronia has started working on an article looking at Super Mario Bros. 3, and I don’t mean just looking — it’s deep analysis of Super Mario Bros. 3 using Freud, uncanny and Oedipus Rex.
  • *Speaking of absurdness, curious as to what is being read in Thoronia right now? Here’s the what hit the chopping block pre-August 25th:
  • Sarah Vowell — The Partly Cloudy Patriot
  • David Foster Wallace — The Broom of the System
  • David Mitchell — Ghostwritten
  • Haruki Murakami — What I Talk About When I Talk About Running
  • *And here is what I got slammed with post August 25th:
  • Meredith Brosnan — Mr. Dynamite
  • Renee Gladman — Juice
  • Patrik Ourednik — Europena
  • Adolfo Casares — Invention of Moral
  • Anchor Book of New American Short Stories
  • Norton Anthology of Theory and Criticism
  • Feminist Theory Reader: Local and Global Perspectives
  • *On a completely unrelated note, NHL 09 is by far the best sports game ever to grace a console system — better than 94, better than Tecmo Bowl, better than Mutant League.
  • *If you’ve ever played Portal, the highly addictive, interesting, amazing, talked about, awesome, sweet ass, puzzle 3D game, than you’ll likely appreciate this video, which sets the amazing end credits song to some typographical fun.
  • *I’ve been trying my best to give the most talked about game of the last 5 years a real play through, but Spore seems to me like a remarkably ambitious, creative effort that went bad. It’s one of the most boring games I’ve ever played — web browser flash games have more depth. However, the actual game, what it does, what it accomplishes, and what happens when you stick with it is remarkable — I mean, if you’re into that whole creationist evolution theory (we here in Thoronia know that the Good King Thor created all). I’ll probably hit it up again come my next three day weekend, but for now, I’ll sit awkwardly in disappointment, thinking that perhaps I just didn’t “get it.”
  • *Speaking of King Thor, the Republic of Thoronia Band just got a date to play a show. Mark November 7th on your calenders, take the night off work and come on down for some Friday Night Fun at the hi-dive with The Republic of Thoronia Band, Franklin’s Mint and Sunburned Hand of Man. Show starts at 9:00 sharp kids (if you haven’t been to a show at the hi-dive recently, let me tell you, they’ve whipped it into shape, when it says the show starts at 9:00, the show starts at 9:00), and the RoTB will be kicking it off and getting it started!
  • *In case anyone was wondering, here are my picks for holiday games of the year: Dead Space, Far Cry 2, Fallout 3, Prince of Persia and Little Big Planet.
  • *That’s all I got.

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